So I will choose smoking as my subject for the column this week because I saw a seriously overweight biker taking a drag while driving on his hog today. It was hilarious as his gut hung out and he coughed while taking a drag. I was picking up one of my stepdaughter's friends and thought I was interfering with traffic while pulling in to the driveway. That is until I saw the biker dude cruising along with one hand on his handlebars and the other cradling a cigarette. I don't know how this guy could walk let alone drive a motorcycle while smoking but he somehow pulled it off. Even though I thought he was going to die on the spot, he sputtered on without a care in the world. He was the exact opposite of the dudes who went on Emerica's Wild Ride.
Even though I found this scenario to be quite humorous, I'm probably not that far behind. My gut doesn't seem to want to go down these days even after a serious skate session and I am thinking of getting into riding motorcycles to pass the time. Perhaps I will become the purple shirted entity I saw today. Maybe it's a version of myself from the future who came back in time to warn me of what I am destined to become. I'm sure I can avoid this scenario as long as I avoid smoking. However, I would still have my belly to contend with and if we've learned nothing from the Greeks or Shakespeare, it's no matter how hard you try, it is impossible to beat fate. Every attempt the hero makes in order to thwart the tragedy ahead only contributes to the projected outcome. It's in the stars and there is no getting around it. In fact, if any of you have seen my father, you would realize the gut is part of the Landry legacy and it may be impossible to avoid.
I wonder if my future self has a job or if he just lives the life of a vagabond. I've always wanted to travel but I also feel it's necessary to contribute to society in a positive manner. I would feel awful if I was just cruising around in an effort to promote smoking. However, maybe it's for the better of mankind.
-Marc Landry
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